All Locked Up

The locksmith at the prison where I worked as a Drafting Instructor was possibly the most ill-tempered person I’ve ever known. Everyone relied on Eddie, but his work was often backlogged 2 to 3 months; not that he couldn’t keep up. He simply chose what he wanted to do, letting the rest pile up. Department heads who complained would almost certainly see their work orders go to the bottom of the stack. With everyone angry with him it seemed that only the Warden could move him, although that wouldn’t last. He would soon be right back to his old ways.

An expansion was planned for my department and we needed our lock work on schedule to avoid extensive delays. His name came up in a Staff Meeting – again – and I can only suggest the anger that was expressed. At length I asked, “Has anyone ever tried using a little honey? Would it be worthwhile to try a little kindness instead the rage?” but literally everyone from top to bottom believed that you couldn’t be friends with him; that he would still turn on you if you turned your back.

Well, one thing I got from my dad was that when someone says, “It can’t be done,” I get to working out how it CAN be done. I began finding honest ways to be friendly with Eddie. When he was rude I was kind. Even when he cussed the world, I tried to find something about him that I liked. When he sat isolated from others in the dining hall I would sit with him; even when he became vocally rude to the inmate who served us, even when cussed the man and called the good food in front of us “slop.”

Slowly, he began trusting me; kind of looking forward to my kindness. I thought that even complaints in Staff Meetings about Eddie subsided. One day at lunch, I asked him about the lead time and work order for a lock on my desk drawer. He told me, “Don’t bother with a (severe expletive deleted) work-order. I’ll come up after lunch to check it out.” He came in about 15 minutes after lunch, but I still figured it would take several days to get my lock, but a half an hour later my drawer was lockable.

As my department expansion approached a few weeks later, I never wrote one work-order. Eddie would show up well ahead and ask me what I needed and/or wanted to have done. When the construction began, all the lock work was in place for installation or scheduled for quick installation. It was clear that whatever I needed, it would be handled expeditiously; regardless of whether or not anyone else’s work was done. I even got things done that no one believed Eddie would do for anyone.

Did I allow my friendship gestures to be a sham? NO!
 

Before I befriended him, I committed to BEING a friend, regardless of anything else, and I found things I really liked about him. I’m confident that our friendship helped him calm down and get to other work that was needed. I cherish the memories from our relationship, and even though he is deceased, he still often teaches me a lesson of humility or of something equally important at the time.